My future has never concerned me much. It always comes eventually. The clock tics and the calendar days get marked off one by one in what is a to do list with 365 1/4 projects, all categorized and counted for. My attendance at the table of forward thinking has been inconsistent, I must admit. My thinking as a chess player never extends beyond my next two, impulsive, moves.
Then, yesterday I had an awakening. Somebody asked, “How old are you?” I replied, “21, no—I mean 22, I think. 1987….yea, I’m 22”. This momentary lapse of thought can be explained by one of two things: My former, very close, relationship with copious amounts of drugs and alcohol or my legitimate forgetfulness about how many years have passed since I poked my head out and ordered my first Captain and Coke. I started young.
Maybe I just get caught up in the day to day things, who can blame me? With the news as terrible as it is, depressions, recessions, wars, earthquakes, Micheal Jackson, Sara Palin and Glenn Beck mind fucking the tea baggers, it’s easy to forget I actually have a future to look forward to.
I’m not talking about a GOOGLE SUPER POWER CORPORATE ARMY future, rather, a more human approach. Mainly, I asked myself the question, “So, what now?”
“So, what now?” A burrito perhaps or maybe a bottle of warm merlot? I’d love to go to a movie or read that George Carlin book I’ve been flirting with. Seriously, what now? I’ll be graduating soon with a degree in English, that’s cool. Still writing for the magazine, that’s cool too! Still living in Ohio…Yea, about that… that needs to CHANGE. West anyone? I heard California has some great Mexican food and millions of pounds of legal hallucinogens. Cannabis Candy Land, here I come!
My choices are literally limitless and lovely. California, New York City, Chicago, New Orleans, Portland but, where do I begin?
So, I will be marking off those days, one move at a time. Patience, diligence, integrity, dignity, planning, scanning, don’t hesitate .
Check Mate.
1 comment:
Crazy isn't it? The question of where the hell did my last 22 years go? Going with the flow, following the trends are what we do best. That's why i like to see and put people in uncomfortable situations. Hopefully that'll get them thinking and feel alive. Thinking differently is easy, acting different is another story.
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