Dear Jesus,
Thank you Jesus… thank you for ruining yet another day of my life. Boy, I just can’t tell ya how much I appreciate your crazy little followers.
Now, Jesus, don’t get me wrong here… I don’t hate you. I don’t even dislike you. I would even go so far as to say… I appreciate what you’ve done for the world.
BUT.
Please. Please. Please! Get some of your followers under control!!
In particular, crazy bitch from the party tonight.
Long story short:
Crazy bitch went… crazy. Everybody was having a good time until crazy bitch went seemingly insane and started calling everybody demons.
Demon eh? I know I may turn red when I drink. I may have a potty mouth. I may even do some mischievous things… I have never, ever blown fire from my mouth. Nor have I ever sprouted horns, wings or hooves.
I am NOT a demon.
I am NOT the anti-christ.
I am NOT a bad person.
Jesus, I implore you… get control of this crazy-psycho Jesus freak. This woman snorts the lord for breakfast and she needs to stop before I give her my two cents on religion.
Thank You,
Signed
Will Flannigan
2 comments:
man, sounds like a fun party! I wish I was there, seriously... I love Demon haters. Do you think Jesus would blog if he were alive today?
I've been called a demon before as well... but it wasn't for drinking.
Then again, my best friend (and I) were once friends with an actual vampire.
Don't ask...
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